15 things to NEVER say to a woman
I had to set some new ground rules with my husband last week. For some reason whenever I comment on how pretty a woman is his new response is "She's "
able" No your married now and for the rest of your life no woman is "able" but me, and if I hear you say that about anyone else the list will get that much shorter!
Bow down B**ch! I guess it was about 3 -4 years ago the hubby and I were both sick with the flu bad. He had one sofa and I had the other watching TV. Maurey Polvich came on and both of us were to sick to get up and change it (no clue where the remote was). Anyways this one couple was on fighting. The man gets up and stands in front of her and says "Bow down B**ch" OMG she got on her hands and knees and did it - she kissed his feet. So for the last few years that has been a running joke hubby well say "bow down b**ch" to me..generally that is followed my me shooting him a bird or saying "bite me".
So where's the '15 things to Never say to a man' thread? ;D
1. When is the game over? Its over when its over. Don't bug us until half-time, okay?
2. Why do you never pay any attention to me!?! Because you always ask stupid questions like this one when I act like I care
3. Can I buy a new.... *insert any item here* The answer is always no. Its too expensive. And you know it is... Why bother?
4. You should stop drinking beer. Hell no. If we have to put up with you for the rest of our lives, then at least let us get wasted every so often
5. Do I look fat in this? If you don't want to know, then don't ask. But yes, it does. And don't you cry, becasue you asked for it.
6. Why is it I do all the work around here? Because you turned down the hot french maid I tried to hire.
7. Wow, you've really let youself go, huh big boy? Great, now you think we're fat????? What an insult.
8. Is that a porno in the DVD player? No, that was the secret camera I keep in our bedroom to upload to the internet... Oh wait, nothing happens in the bedroom because of you, thus the porn.
9. Do you think she's hot? Yes. And we would totally do her too. Oh... Too many details?
10. And the biggest of all..... Do you think you could buy some pills to make it bigger? Well if you weren't so wide, maybe you would feel something?
My comments are in yellow. Keep in mind I'm only half serious... Okay, mostly.
Edit: I only did 10, but Dogg can fill in the other 5... And my yellow didn't work. Alas
Never make a comment about their weight either. I remember a few years ago I told my ex that it looked like she was putting on a few pounds(I was half joking) and she hit me so hard it nearly knocked me off my feet...she was small and I'm not, it really suprised me. Lesson learned
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