Found this totally useless post at Asylum.com (it was a pop-up so I can't figure out how to get the exact link)and was cracking up. Thought maybe a few of the guys on the site could use the advice. So here goes it... (my own comments will be in green)

15. What did you do to your hair? If you're asking because you don't like it, it's too late. And if you're asking because you really can't tell, pay more attention!
14. Why aren't you married? There is no right answer to this question. Either nobody's asked us, or we just don't want to be. Either way, is it any of your business?
13. You're being irrational. To a woman, words like "irrational" and "emotional" are loaded with double meanings. You're better off choosing an adjective not loaded with sexist tripwires. IMHO add "ridiculous" to this list.
12. Your best friend is really hot. We know she's hot, but telling us you think so is the quickest way to never see her again.
11. Can I kiss you? Don't suck all the spontaneity out of the moment by asking, just go for it! If we're not into it, we'll let you know. Ok really? Are there idiots out there that ask this?
10. You aren't one of those feminists, are you? You aren't one of those guys who enjoys sleeping on the couch, are you? Eh.... I guess this one WOULD be annoying to "one of those feminists" me on the other hand... no biggie. Nope I'm not... let my butt stay at home
9. You're cute when you're mad. You are not cute when you are being patronizing!
8. That's not the way my ex did it. You're better off just avoiding the topic of ex-girlfriends in general, unless accompanied by phrases like "vastly inferior to my current girlfriend." Also be prepared to hear "Well your ex was a moron and did everything wrong!" (which btw she most likely was, which is why you've moved on to bigger & better things... AKA current girlfriend)
7. So how old are you? Old enough to know not to ask rude questions.
6. You sound just like your mother. Are you insulting us, or our mothers? Both? Oh, it's on. This is just a loaded statement. Never let it leave yuor mouth. Ever. Ever. EVER.
5. Smile. There is nothing more infuriating than being told to "Smile" when you don't feel like it.. Aren't we allowed to have a bad day?
4. You sure you wanna eat that? If she wasn't sure, she wouldn't have ordered it. And are you sure you want to question her diet, Mr. Nacho, Wings and Beer Belly?
3. The "b" word, ever. Calling a woman a "b!tch" (or worse) in any context is just not OK. We will flip out.
2. When are you due? Unless her belly is indisputably housing a baby, never assume a woman is pregnant. We will, however, accept offers of seats even if we're just bloated.
1. Is it that time of the month? Blaming a woman's anger on her period is the quickest way to ensure her rage will now be focused on you. It doesn't matter if she blows up at you like clockwork every 28 days -- just don't say it. Ditto.

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