Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching?

A friend is the person who knows all about you, and still likes you.

Your family tree is so short its a stump.

if you can't see the bright side, polish the dull side!

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

My wife and I divorced over religious differences. I thought I was God and she didn't.

Health is merely the slowest way someone can die.

When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.

"There is no dark side of the Moon really...

as a matter of fact it's all dark."