once upon a time in a tropical state... oh wait its better coming from smartmom...... YOu who... do tell PLEASE!

Ok well I see my friends have started it so here I go (since I'm at work no pic but I have one at home - I'll add later since its funny). Ok get your popcorn and soda..........

Once upon a time on Halloween night back in 2004 there was a mom named Smartmom who lived on a lake. Now this mom had a little boy that wanted to go as Texas Chainsaw massacre for Halloween (no couldn't be a hero but had to go for gore). Now the little boy was most upset that his mask had no blood splatters on it "It doesn't look real mom". So at around 5pm mom goes out in the backyard with some red craft paint and a toothbrush to flick paint on the mask. So as mom was bent over adding paint to the mask a duck comes up in the yard. Not any duck but the duck from hell - after all it was Halloween. The duck proceeded to attack poor smartmom. With its hard little beak it was pecking and biting smartmom's feet. First she gently tried to push the duck away but that did not work. It then became a war with smartmom and the duck. Smartmom kicks duck into the pool, duck flys out back at smartmom. Smartmom is now wet and can not escape the duck. She is yelling for Mr. Smartmom who is in the garage and can not here her. To her rescue out comes middle son who grabs the duck and with a football like move scores a goal over the neighbors fence. In the midst of this happening smartmom turns funny and hears/feels her knee go. So off to the land of the master bedroom with phone in hand calling a girlfriend who is a physical therapist. Girlfriend comes over and says not good - knee is now twice the size. Knowing this is Halloween smartmom decides not to go the ER who will only tell her to follow up with a ortho the next day anyways.
[ok this is becoming a book so I'll wrap it up some]
Next day I went to the ortho who took X-rays but miss reads them. Nine days later a MRI is done to discover I dislocated my knee cap (and still was), ripped my menisci, and tore my ACL. Did I know it was this bad - nooooooooooo. Dr pops my knee cap back and gives me some injections, puts me in a brace and then 6 months of physical therapy. Knee was not getting any better. So I found out who the best ortho knee Dr was in my area (he's a Dr for the Miami Dolphins) and I gather my x-rays, MRI and off I go. He took one look and said wow you needed surgery on day 2. Now the problem is I'm partially healed. Oh let me throw in the part that I have rheumatoid arthritis. So I ended up having to have surgery. At that point they were thinking I was going to probably need total knee replacement. Well the Dr. preformed a miracle and was able to repair my knee, followed by a year of therapy and now I'm good to go. I did however give up snow skiing (face it I suck at snow skiing so no biggie).

That is why I hate ducks. Oh and for the record NO I did not eat the duck, it was moved to another lake however a couple days later. No I do not have Aflack insurance (you know with the duck).

The end