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Twilight Saga: New Moon Review

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Okay, so let me set the scene: I'm a young male that was convinced to read all 4 Twilight books. I had mixed emotions about the books. The story was okay, but whatshername isn't the best writer. I saw Twilight, and thought it was an okay movie. Of course, nothing like the book, so I went into this movie expecting the same thing. My date thought it would we fun to go to the midnight show at the local place, and naturally I gave in eventually. (Oh the things we'll do for you ladies).

Before I break into my review of the movie, you have to understand the nightmare that became the midnight showing. I had to be up at 8 this morning, so I just wanted it to end so I could go home. The movie ended up cutting out 5 or 6 times. And as if the movie knew, it cut out at pivitol points of the plot. This got a loud groan from all the pre-teens, and a slew of profanity from the middleage moms behind me. We were told the first few times that a projector motor burnt out, and they had to replace it. The last time, the manager brought up the house lights, and told us that there was a fire in the building. It started melting the film, so it had to be pieced back together. It was Inglorious Bastards all over again, just without Hitler having his face blown off. Anyway, we got passes to any movie we wanted, which made the whole night better... At least my $9.50 wasn't spent in vein.

So, for the movie itself. Lets start with the acting. Oh wait, there was no acting going on. Kristen Stewart (Bella) had to be the worst out of them all. Hell, if you've seen in interview with her on tv, you can tell that she has no presence at all. She is so uncomfortable to watch. I ended up spending the majority of the time laughing with my date at just how bad it really was. My favorite bit of acting had to come from Dakota Fanning (Jane), which is funny, since she was only on screen for less then 5 min. I heard a few girls behind me saying how scary she looked... She was pretty bada$$. Other then that, the whole thing felt fake and corny, and it just wasn't worth watching from an acting standpoint.

The plot was alright, but didn't follow the book at all. In fact, the ending was so bad that people thought that the movie had cut out again, and when the credits started, a lot of people boo'd. I knew that it would be nothing like the book, and I was right. I do have a problem with this book and movie, and it deals with the projection of love that we're teaching tweens. Bella jumps off a cliff to get a guys attention. They say over and over that there is no reason to live if their not together. Bella rides off with a biker she met at a bar just to get back at Edward...... Is this what we should be teaching young girls? That you have to do whatever it takes to get a guy? That you have to have a guy to be happy in life? That life isn't worth living without a man in your life? I think not. I think this aspect of the movie bothered me the worst. The book was the same way, but seeing it on the big screen upset me.

There were some pretty graphic sceens that involved people getting their knecks snapped and heads popped off. A person has their face cracked and beat over and over again. It was much more then I expected, though the movie did have a PG-13 rating for the violence. There were shirtless guys throughout (OMG! LOOK AT THOSE ABS!), which was clearly just playing into the target audience. The special effects, meaning the wolves, was terrible... Not a single hint of realism. And really... Vampires don't sparkle. And if they did, it wouldn't look like little rays of sunshine.

This movie was so bad, it made Twilight look like a movie of the year possibility, and Twilight wasn't that good. The jokes were lame, the serious sceens fell flat, and the acting was just terrible overall. I really struggle to find anything good to say about it. Basically, if you read the books like the Bible, or you just enjoy the warm fuzzy feeling between your legs at seeing teenage boys without shirts, you might enjoy the movie. The climax in Italy was really the only interesting part, and it only lasted 10 min.

I guess the best part was I can go see another movie that will actually be worth seeing. Overall, I give it a 2 out of 10, and that's only because I feel bad giving it a 0 or 1. Wait for the rental, and laugh at just how bad it really is.

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Re: Twilight Saga: New Moon

Oh, and the next movie is due out in 6 months. When you rush it that much, I dread to think about how worst the acting got. They need 5 or 6 years to get things together.

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Re: Twilight Saga: New Moon

ahhhh great review James. I'm one who is not into Twilight. I've never read the books and I didn't see the first movie although it was on the list to see, basically so I could say I watched it. I agree with what you said about how most books being made into a movie are disappointing. You simply can not cram that much into 2 hours.

I think I'll take your advice and wait till it comes out on DVD. Thanks for the review. Smile

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Re: Twilight Saga: New Moon Review

James Clerk wrote:

Bella rides off with a biker she met at a bar just to get back at Edward...... Is this what we should be teaching young girls? That you have to do whatever it takes to get a guy?

Good point. I wonder if it's not the reverse though........the story is written by a woman, and she probably is just reflecting the way she and most or all women and females think. Girls always do things just to tick the guy she likes off and usually using jealousy as their most potent weapon. But they never seem to realize that it actually destroys the relationship even more than make it stronger or to even get the guy they really want back. But who wins in that situation? The biker, who doesn't care at all about the girls motive, he just gets to have some no strings attached booty, while the guy she really wants looks at her more like a hooker & waist of his time.

James Clerk wrote:

<snip>.....at seeing teenage boys without shirts, you might enjoy the movie.

That is funny. Have you noticed how women in their midtwenties and even thirties publicly drool over Jacob, and he's actually SEVENTEEN! That's illegal in alot of states. Considered pedophiles!

And Robert Pattinson is only about 23-24 and women in their thirties who would NEVER be with or even admit someone that young is hot, will publicly shout how hot they think he is. funny how just being on a screen can make a girl drop all thier morals and normal values and rules. 23 and 24 is still basically a KID to a woman 30 and up.

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Re: Twilight Saga: New Moon Review

Laughing, well, I guess as long as a person has a camera in front of them and a lot of people seeing the result, all bets are off. They'll just say 'condoms are a good thing' (in the case of a the biker example), ROFL

I even know a girl who has a deal with her fiance that as long as the guy is famous, it's considered ok to have sex with them. Even her fiance goes along with it. Rolling Eyes


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Re: Twilight Saga: New Moon Review

Whelp, I finally saw this movie last night. All in all I didn't think it was too bad, I'm into the vampire, werewolf thing too, but maybe not in such a cheesy, romance way. The lines between Bella and Edward were just too dang cheesy sometimes.

James is right though, Kristen's acting is pretty bad, but so is whatshisname's that plays Edward. Actually pretty much all of their acting wasn't too hot except for the guys in Italy. They were cool as hell. I also never realized Edward was such a wuss, Laughing, he got owned pretty easily. All show, no go. Tongue Getting back to the cheesy lines, I've read a few passages from the books here and there and the way the actors actually delievered the lines, just sucked.

Although I think the Vampires have the coolest 'powers', I also think the werewolves were the coolest part of the movie. They looked pretty fake, but the scenes with them were the best and most exciting. If it isn't too gay for a guy to choose a 'team', (because trust me, I'm 150% hetero, and then some Wink ) I'd have to say I'm "Team Jacob" at this point, Laughing. Besides, he's the most like me. Wink

Btw, Bella didn't actually get on that bike with the biker to get back at Edward, she did it because she knew it was dangerous and she would actually get to 'see' Edward if she did it. Even if it was just his spirit. Same with jumping off the cliff, and the motorcycle crash, etc.

Funny thing though .. for a movie about vampires, I don't remember seeing a SINGLE vampire bite. Strange.

The ending was horrible. I won't give it away for the people who haven't seen it yet, but it seems like just as it's about to get good, well .. you know ... (those who saw it). And what's weird is I finally just caught the last episode of the Sopranos the night before ... Laughing ... seems to be a trend now to end shows/movies that way. And I was left feeling the same way about the Sopranos ending as I was about the New Moon ending ... unfulfilled.

On a scale of 1-10, I'd give New Moon about a uhhh ... hmmm .... 6.3


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Re: Twilight Saga: New Moon Review

I didnt like it at all it had to much of a grade school mindset to me and the ending was terrible

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