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Mean But Oh So Funny Break Up Lines

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Me in Wonderland's picture
From:
In a land of wonderous things...
Me in Wonderland
Windows UserA Messiah (Leader of a popular GD Group)I donated more than $20+ to GeekDrop!I took a bite of the Apple
Joined: 01/16/2009
Posts: 1075
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Mood: Gay

Ok so Gmail is at it again. But I did get a laugh out of it today. Here's a list of some of the best break up lines EVER.

  1. I discovered I have a mild form of epilepsy and you bring on attacks because you make me too excited to be around you.

  2. I have a pet dog, he kisses like you, his breath is like yours, he pants like you. I love him dearly but I wouldn't want to marry him. Lets part before this goes any farther.

  3. We just grew apart I don't need you anymore.

  4. You mean more to me than life itself - but I'm suicidal.

  5. I want someone who can buy me a new car.

  6. I'm sorry, but there just isn't room in my life right now for both you and my vibrator.

  7. You're too young for me. I mean, too *old*. We're the same age? Well, that doesn't work for me, either.

  8. My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year off in order to train them to attack your picture.

  9. This just isn't for me. Nothing personal. I want to be able to tell people I'm single.

  10. You talked about the future, and that freaked me out. It makes me sick to think about it.

 

I Heart #'s 4-7. *lmao* at those.

I Averaged: 2.8 | 15 votes


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CritterKeeper's picture
From:
Philly
CritterKeeper
Banned Member (Way To Go!)
Joined: 01/14/2009
Posts: 942
Drops: 1171
Mood: Rejected
Re: Mean But Oh So Funny Break Up Lines
  • Have you always been this boring?
  • I think I'm allergic to you.
  • I'm gonna give celibacy a shot.
  • I'm moving to Guam.
  • Next I'm gettin a list of typical lines you can use, and their actual translation! Laughing

Do a little dance...
Do a little dance...

Me in Wonderland's picture
From:
In a land of wonderous things...
Me in Wonderland
Windows UserA Messiah (Leader of a popular GD Group)I donated more than $20+ to GeekDrop!I took a bite of the Apple
Joined: 01/16/2009
Posts: 1075
Drops: 1375
Mood: Gay
Re: Mean But Oh So Funny Break Up Lines
  • I am entering the witness protection program.
  • I don't want you spending all your money on Viagra.
  • I'm not saying it's you, but I know it's not me...
  • I'm sorry my parents have promised me to another suitor.
  • It's just a restraining order, it's not like it's the end of the world.
  • I'd love to love you but, well, you suck
LBL's picture
From:
Houston, TX
LBL
Joined the Dark SideI use FirefoxMac UserWindows User
Joined: 03/03/2009
Posts: 253
Drops: 317
Mood: Happy
Re: Mean But Oh So Funny Break Up Lines
Me in Wonderland wrote:

I don't want you spending all your money on viagra.

ROFL

PO's picture
From:
Somewhere between fantasy and reality...
PO
Banned Member (Way To Go!)
Joined: 03/04/2009
Posts: 811
Drops: 991
Mood: Mellow
Re: Mean But Oh So Funny Break Up Lines
  • It's not me, it's you.
  • I'm just not that into you.
  • You remind me too much of me ex, and he is an a**hole.
  • Oh, I can't date guys who are still attached to their mother's umbilical cord.
  • I'm becoming a nun.
Smartmom's picture
From:
Wellington Florida
Smartmom
Banned Member (Way To Go!)
Relationship Status:
Married
Joined: 01/15/2009
Posts: 6395
Drops: -20
Mood: Giggly
Re: Mean But Oh So Funny Break Up Lines
  • You deserve someone so much better than me, and I've found him or her. Let me introduce you.
  • I don't want to ruin the friendship
  • It's over and I never really see it working between us because I've come to the realization that you aren't and can't possibly be my type.
  • I love you like a brother (greatest relationship killer ever).
  • If the phone doesn't ring, it's probably me.
  • I really like you, but my parole officer doesn't.
  • I think it's time you knew. I'm Batman.

there are lots more HERE

PO's picture
From:
Somewhere between fantasy and reality...
PO
Banned Member (Way To Go!)
Joined: 03/04/2009
Posts: 811
Drops: 991
Mood: Mellow
Re: Mean But Oh So Funny Break Up Lines
smartmom wrote:

I think it's time you knew. I'm Batman.

ROFL I love that one.

Princessb's picture
From:
California
Princessb
Joined the Dark SideI use FirefoxMac UserWindows User
Joined: 03/03/2009
Posts: 147
Drops: 157
Mood: Geeky
Re: Mean But Oh So Funny Break Up Lines

I don't have any that I've done, but my husband has confided that he feels extremely guilty about the way he used to treat girls especially in high school. The one he feels worst about was to his girlfriend of about 6 months when he was 17...

"When I leave here we aren't going to be dating anymore. (other girl) asked me to the prom and she is prettier than you, and a lot more popular."

Yes girls, I'm the one who ended up with this catch! Laughing. Poor girl could you imagine. Prom must have sucked.

cody_porter's picture
cody_porter
Re: Mean But Oh So Funny Break Up Lines
  • Is it hot in here or are you just suffacating me in this relationship!
  • Are you being followed because i'm seeing poeple behind your back.
brook9196's picture
brook9196
Re: Mean But Oh So Funny Break Up Lines

Have you seen the movie "other people"? I think we should see it.

Andre's picture
Andre
Re: Mean But Oh So Funny Break Up Lines

Sory I'm impotent and I know how much you love c*ck

*.*

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